Nihilistic Optimism And Divine Grace

We’re all going to die. That doesn’t have that much of a bearing on the next jumble of words but It ties in, and I figured id get the unpleasant business over and done with first.  Usually, I write when I’m hopped up on ginger tea and my mind transcends it self and goes to a place, I like to call oblivion, you know, that place in your mind where coherent thought goes to die and all sorts of fantasies are born. Today, however I’m writing from a more materialistic point of view. Yet, ironically, it touches more on the spiritual than anything else to come to birth under my keys.

It all ties into the weird day I’m having. But first, a smattering of information about myself. I’m a twenty-year-old, living in modern day Nairobi and I’ve been afflicted by this disease of making an making it big in music since a very long time ago (I didn’t diagnose it, the system did). After a lot of effort, I, and the rest of patients with the same disease managed to save up and cop a mic, you can imagine my joy.

Since said purchase (read drug fix, for our education bent elders) everything has been seemingly falling into place, and the first and most crucial phases of our plans have been working out. Today however my guardian angel probably had a bad hair day and decided to throw a cosmic wrench in everything in our abode. Somehow, my laptop trackpad stopped working, my roommates mouse fell apart, our mic (I don’t believe I’ve stressed enough how much we loved this thing) completely sopped working.

This is usually the part where someone tells you that everything magically got better and we lived happily ever after. It didn’t. My laptop trackpad still isn’t working, the mouse officially breathed its last a few hours ago despite several emergency treatments, our mic Is still busted and I still can’t see the way forward. Why, then am I here writing about grace? Honestly, I wonder myself as well.

Somehow though, despite everything that has gone on today, I’ve managed to end the day on a light mood. This is partly on the knowledge that everyone is going to die. Very morbid I know, but the knowledge that although achieving everything you want to is indeed as important as you think it is, you’re still going to die whether you do or not, so there’s no need to keep walking with a dark cloud over your head all day. Its rather fascinating how people can find solace in the most indisputably depressing aspect of human nature.

Somehow, someway between thought of whether a poltergeist is responsible for all of todays mishaps and optimistic nihilism I found myself thinking about grace. I’ve mentioned before how well things were going before so the word grace has been lurking in my mind for quite a while.  Astrologers like to believe that grace is a phenomenon that smoothens your path when you walk towards resolving past life issues. Religions extensively explore grace being peace, knowing you lie safe in the arms of the creator regardless of the situation. Neo spiritualists belie grace is the phenomenon of someone being aligned with the most suitable vibrations for them in the greater universe.

I can’t, nor am I willing to speculate on grace, this awesome, ethereal thing. I do believe however, with all my being that it exists, it’s what keeps people on their paths through the most grueling despair. It has different triggers, for some its faith, for some it’s a certain philosophy (e.g., optimistic nihilism) or a certain piece of knowledge. But its always advisable to put yourself in that state of mind, its like dripping honey on your soul after a burn.

Its not much in the way of encouragement, but its honestly more for me than for all of you so if this works to uplift you well and good, if it doesn’t, well at least you filled in your reading quota for the day, now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go gorge myself on eggs, you know, super foods and all.


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