The Less I Know The Better

I hate being alone.

Its not that I am afraid of the dark or the monsters that crawl underneath my bed. Its because when I am alone, I become lonely.

I know…. I know. It’s obvious when you are alone you are bound to be lonely but for me there is more to it. My loneliness is usually an indicator of underlying disease when feelings become excessive, all-consuming and interfere with my normal living.

To drown these feelings, I seek the General’s advice. It may not be a conventional method but it’s the best way. It’s a matter of perspective as they say it’s either head or tails…. Oh, sorry. I re-phrase, it’s either half full or half-empty.

The universe has its laws. We all know karma but there are more laws.

The law of exchange states that for you to obtain something you must sacrifice something of fair value.

The entryway yawned open. I stood on the threshold for a moment scanning the counter. About to pay the consultation fee I remember I do not have enough tokens. Well at least I’ll go out with the lights. It’s a small price to pay for salvation. For the law of exchange, I offered light for light, ‘kuzima’.

  Arrangements are made and I am on my way home with the General.

I take the General home.

The General is a courteous man as he takes the liberty to introduce himself.

“The name is Meakins lad.” he says.

I allowed myself a rare smile as it seemed as if he was faking a British accent. Anyways after spending some time with him, I realize one of his talents is seeing your past.

“The smell of rum on her breath made ye head spin. You would find yourself wrapped around her fingers like her cigarettes. Yet still motionless as usual she lost her voice or was it the miles between you that kept her from answering?”  The General soothsaid making it look like a riddle.

Puzzled I am if not amazed. How did he do that?

The General proceeds to tell me, ‘The less I know the better.’

Don’t get me wrong boy it ain’t ignorance but some stones ought to be left unturned. Let me break it for you. Its wanting to know more that got Adam and Eve kicked out of the Garden of Eden. Most people will agree if I say better not go through your partner’s green app ‘WhatsApp’.

“Let me tell you about Sophie.” The General says.

Sophie is nineteen years old fresh out of high school. Pampered and catered she was. Sophie was not raised but cultured. She only knew the soft life. Living such a life how could she have not watched shows like high school musical? A bucket list was made and yes on top of the list was to date a hunk. Obviously not the leather jacket American Football Quarter back that rides a bad ass Harley Davidson with Ape Hangers hunk.

All she wanted was a handsome good bad boy who would take her out on dates, brought her favorite chocolates when she was on her periods and knew how to massage to ease the pain of her cramps. Also had to be tall and had some muscle.

“Not skinny, not bulky and definitely not fat.” She made her stand.

To be honest I was not sure what creature she had cooked up but let me say she got something close to that. The thing with something close to that is it is usually a recipe for disaster. I can’t blame Sophie though. Everyone usually wants the best toy in the store. Something close to that was a major player.

Sophie was busy living her dreamlife to notice or it could be something close to that was too good at it, again perspective.

The truth is like a boner it shall stand to be seen. Sophie was bound to know.

The shock over the truth is always matched by mixed feelings. Sophie did not know what to feel angry that she had been cheated on, sad that she had been cheated on or relived that she had come to know the truth. She wished that she had known less since the feelings she had for something were the only thing she was sure about.

“What you are basically saying is it would be best if Sophie never knew about something cheating on her?” I interrupt the General.

“Sophie would still be happy and dating, perspective my boy.” The General says.

Next thing I remember is waking up 10 am in the morning my head feels heavier than usual, I am feeling drowsy, I am hungry, tired, I am feeling a lot of things but what surprises me is the General is long gone.

“When he came back to his senses, he said “How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father”

Sorry, I had to do that. I was broke, had no penny to my name. Long story short I went home.


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