Fourteen Minute Man

You can’t relate, can you? Of course, you can’t. he reverse calls you as the sun goes down with the intent of an impromptu invitation to the dingy bedsitter he resides in. Spicing up the usual preliminaries with a touch of “nimekumiss”, he feigns concern concerning your general well-being because basically, that’s not the point, but a point nonetheless. Hours later, you are both snuggled warmly in his four-by-six bed, which lacks the capacity to accommodate your curvaceous self and his skinny frame, but somehow, space spaces. Don’t ask me how. Tuduum!

Uko sure hiyo jeans haikufinyi?” he rhetorically asks, willingly offering a helping hand.

Amid resistant collaboration on your part, he delivers his honest if not unnecessary (in retrospect) two seconds, sweat dripping from his hairline, which is inclined to ‘backstroke’.

Are you still watching?

(melodious beat)

Tokoki ko loba oh

Tokoki ko yemba

Tokoki ko somba VW na Azda

Azda, Azda, Azda ah

Kombo ya sika ba Zairois ba pesi

Kombo ya Difko ekumadi lelo to poni Azda

Four verses down, seven minutes in, ecstasy up and rising…

VW 1200 baninga, VW, VW, VW, VW, VW

Commander na Azda, Azda kombo ya sika

(loop verse)

Fourteenth minute. Heave a sigh of contentment. On the contrary, legs are still-still. Not shaking whatsoever.

On a roll. Les Wanyika justifies that hana makosa before making it clear to Fatou about his integrity, adding, “Shauri yako,” moments before supporting the phrase, “ni sisi ndio tuko”, in disguise of Ufukara Sio Kilema.

Franco Luambo Makiadi, backed up by TPOK Jazz, seize the day with Mario, 12600 Lettres and Layile. Be that as it may, you get little to nothing of what is being said, you gyrate vigorously to the lively beats. Ah, Mario!

When Sam Mangwana steps in with Toujours Ok, aided by Franco Luambo Makiadi and TPOK Jazz, you definitely know it’s about time to take it a notch higher and undulate those hips as you revise the moves to employ as Mbilia Bel praises your country, you lovely Kenyan.

You might think it’s Porojo by Kamau Munyua beginning, but it’s actually Sam Mangwana’s Bana Ba Cameroun. The ‘slap is certified’ as Madilu System decides to call it a day with Sansa Ya Papier and RTC Riva. However, it’s not a day unless Awilo Longomba and Jocelyne Beroard fire up your being with a dose of Coupe Bibamba.

(Maroon Commandos’ Charonyi Ni Wasi playing in real life, but of good cheer we are, aren’t we?)

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