Curves

By The Bee.

In a world full of straights and narrows,we are the curves.A myriad of names has been made specifically for us, including ‘thick chics’ and ‘curvy girls’.The voluptuous womanly figure on us often evokes mixed reactions: the Gram advertising weight loss services in all shapes and forms,TV broadcasting fitness programs that enthusiastically champion for ‘losing that flab’,mens’ confessions that they have a sickness for the thickness and our more petite allies telling us how they wish they had thighs like ours.

A dressy affair.

Let me tell you Maina, dressing while thick is a big deal.Societally,you cannot wear shorts because they are termed as ‘indecent’,yet the rest of the world very comfortably rocks them.I often ask myself what exactly is indecent about God-given features.But I digress.Finding nice jeans alone is a headache.You find a nice-looking pair,and they refuse to move past your thighs.When they actually do move past your thighs, they don’t accomodate your generous waist.

You also need extra support for the bouncing baby girls on your chest because apparently, back problems are drawn to you:they remind you how tired your back is from carrying the weight of the world on your chest.

Thunder Thighs.

I know Shakira sang and said hips don’t lie but have you experienced the magic of thighs?If you haven’t,let me enlighten you.Thighs are a close-knit pair when you’re curvy.They absolutely love to snuggle and cuddle together.They are bonded by the powerful force of friction that rubs them together day by day when you walk,causing friction burns;a process otherwise known as chafing.

However, it’s not all doom and gloom.Thick thighs provide the most amazing cushion when you’re sitting on surfaces like wood and plastic, that would otherwise dig into your backside like a forgotten pen in one’s pocket.

Kangaroo pouches and love handles.

Though we may not love them,we have definitely learnt how to handle our pouches.(See what I did there?)We have learnt to hide the pouches discreetly in body shaping jeggings to create that coveted hourglass figure.A majority of thiccies(yes,I’m calling us that)invest in shapewear:corsets,bikers,fancy lacy onesies among others.

Love handles serve absolutely no purpose except to frustrate you when you’re wearing leggings and stockings.Picture this: it’s six in the am and you are dressing for school.You are jumping up and down so you can fit in the leggings and make them get to your waist.Everything else is cooperative:your pooch is trying to suck itself in,your nyash has angled itself perfectly,your hips are somehow holding up and your thighs have completed their task of unbonding for a few moments while you struggled to pull the leggings up.But what do your love handles decide to do?They decide to put up an attitude because ain’t no way they’re being stashed inside leggings at such an ungodly hour.Mxm,irris warriris.

Nyash.

No,I’m not referring to Nyashinski.I’m referring to the booty.It has been sung about,praised, esteemed,identified with and absolutely glorified.I shall not say much about it,but the gluteus maximus is a work of art.When you’re thicker, it’s an even larger work of art.The only pitfall is making sure your clothes accomodate it.

A weighty affair.

Weight is often one of the weightiest matters to exist.For us curvy girls,we are often told from a young age to lose weight,that it will make us prettier or more attractive to the other gender.We are bombarded,left,right and centre,by films that paint the picture that appealing is equal to an hourglass figure or a petite frame.

We are teased about eating a lot, about how our clothes fit us,and are objectified and told to ‘cover up’ more times than we can count.When you’re told something over and over again,it tends to get stuck in your head.We start hating our frames and not being at home in our own bodies.

It is at that point when we start doing drastic diets and unusually strenuous exercise,not to stay healthy or fit,but just to lose weight,yet we were perfectly healthy to start with.We start to hear, ‘aiii na umekonda,kwani kuna shida na hutuambii?’.This comes from the same society that pushed us to alter ourselves because we were ‘not right’ and did not fit in.

Petite or thick,I have learnt that one should only lose weight when they actually need to.When their weight poses a threat to their health or their everyday life.When they are losing it, they should do it from a point of self-acceptance and not externally driven forces.I have learnt that,though it seems like it, there’s no actual SI Unit for beauty.Curves are beautiful,and I have learnt to accept mine.Beauty standard or not,the curves on my body are mine and with them,I will shine.

I’m going to curve you guys right about now and bid you goodbye.(laughing emoji)

4 thoughts on “Curves

  1. You forgot about those who happen to fit into them big jeans but then nyash says let me purse my lips in discontent and thus forming a hole just above the gluteus, the jean usually exposing the horrors when this person bends or sits in acute angles 😂😂😂😂. Pisses the thiccies a lot.

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